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All Rights Reserved三分钟的英语小故事带翻译，急~~~~~~不要太难的~~~
三分钟的英语小故事带翻译，急~~~~~~不要太难的~~~
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken t but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, &This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you.& Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
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Mrs Smith have some trouble in her heart so she went to see the doctor .He was a new doctor and did not know her. So he asked how old she was. Mrs Smith thought for a moment and asked :&I don't remember doctor ,but I will try to think& She thought for a moment and then said:&well ,doctor ,I remember now. When I married I was 18 years old and my husband
was 30,now my husband is 60I know and that is twice 30 so I am twice 18 that is 36 isn't it?&
史密斯夫人的心脏不太舒服，所以她去看医生。这是一个新医生，并不认识她。于是医生问她她多大了。史密斯夫人想了想说：“恩，我不记得了大夫。不过我会努力想想”她想了一会儿，说：“哦，我想起来了大夫。我结婚的时候十八岁，我丈夫三十岁。现在我丈夫六十岁了，那是三十岁的两倍，那么我应该是两倍的十八岁，也就是36岁，不是么？”（小笑话，实际上市外国人不愿意告诉别人自己的年龄，于是故意打哈哈，然后旁敲侧击的说出来。）
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外语领域专家Love starts as an attraction to another. Love grows with mutual respect. Love thrives on confidence and dignity. Love survives on wisdom and honor. 爱萌芽，源于彼此吸引；爱生长，见于彼此尊重；爱开花，基于自信、尊...
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英语幽默小故事
需要很多英语幽默小故事,也就是英语笑话,还记得要带上翻译啊!!!
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, &What happened?& &A kid bit me,& replied Ivan. &Would you recognize him if you saw him again?& asked his mother. &I'd know him any where,& said Ivan. &I have his ear in my pocket.& 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. &What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?& &I gave it to a poor old woman,& he answered. &You're a good boy,& said the mother proudly. &Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?& &She is the one who sells the candy.& 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, &What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?& &Well, my son,& his father replied, &look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.& &But, dad,& the boy said, & there's only ONE policeman!& 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: &You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?& &In the rat-trap, sir,& replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, &Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) & 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: &God, what is a million dollars to you?& and God says: &A penny&, then the man says: &God, what is a million years to you?& and God says: &a second&, then the man says: &God, can I have a penny?& and God says &In a second& 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:&主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?&上帝回答:&一便士.&男子又问:&且话偻蚰昴?&上帝说:&一秒钟.&最后男子请求道:&上帝,我能得到一便士吗?&上帝回答:&过一秒钟.& 1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net &Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?& &A lot of little holes tied together with strings.& replied the little girl. 鱼网 &你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？& 老师发问道。 &把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。& 小女孩回答道。 3. The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. &George, how did you like your new teacher?& asked his mother. &I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....& 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 &乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？& 妈妈问。 &妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。& 4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？ 尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。 Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？ 母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个 可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。 Magic change神奇变化 Gaga is a little duck. He is small, dirty and ugly. His friends don’t like to play with him. One day, Gaga walked behind his friends quietly(静悄悄地).But his friends did not want him. Gaga was very sad and ran to the river and cried loudly(大声地)。 Just then, a big beautiful bird heard(听见)him crying and flew down(飞下来，落下来). She said, “Please don’t cry. Tell me, what do you want? I can help you.” Gaga told the truth(真相). The beautiful bird said, “OK, I can help you to become a good-looking duck.” Then she took out a blanket and put it on the duck’s body. She said something which the little duck didn’t understand. Then she took away the blanket. There stood (站立)a good-looking duck. Gaga was very happy. He thanked the big bird and quickly went to play with his friends
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how are you怎么是你ne ?how old are you怎么老是你ne ?please踩纳！
我只有几句搞笑翻译：1.We two who and who?咱俩谁跟谁。2.How are you? How old are you?怎么是你？怎么老是你？
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin. 有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪……… Girl: Father, I have sinned. 女孩：神父，我有罪。 Preacher: What did you do, little girl? 神父：孩子，你犯了什麽罪呢？ Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a &son of a Bitch.& 女孩：昨天，我骂了某个男人一句：「你这个狗娘养的！」 Preacher: Why? What did he do to you? 神父：为什麽？他对你做了什麽吗？ Girl: He touched my breast. 女孩：他……他摸我的胸部。 Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.) 神父：你是说像这样子吗？（神父伸手摸女孩的胸部） Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes. 女孩：（因为神父的举动而有一些害羞）嗯……是的。 Preacher: That's no reason to call him that. 神父：只是这样子的话你没有理由骂他啊。 Girl: But he also took off my cloth. 女孩：但是……他又把我的衣服脱掉…… Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.) 神父：你是说像这样子吗？（神父动手脱掉女孩的衣服） Girl: Yes, that's what he did. 女孩：是的，是这样子没错。 Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that. 神父：可是这样子你还是没有理由骂他啊。 Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what... 女孩：然後……他把他的……那个……放到我的……那个……里面…… Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what) 神父：（奸笑貌）你是说像这样子吗？（神父和女孩就那个那个了） Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did... 女孩：（数分钟後）喔……是的……就是这样子……… Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a... 神父：我亲爱的孩子，就算是这样你还是没有理由骂他「你这个………」 Girl: But he had AIDS!! 女孩：但是他有 AIDS 呀!! Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!! 神父：那个狗娘养的!!!
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幽默笑话领域专家英语幽默小故事带翻译带问题_百度知道
英语幽默小故事带翻译带问题
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The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. T she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the she jumped and caught the mouse. But s so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, &Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young.& 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, &I do not want for the rich man wi he will give me very nice food to eat.& Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river so he could not go over it. He
then he said, &I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river.& He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not th you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。 他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。” 他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。 不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。 The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse
the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the C he said, &Do come and see me at my house in the country.& So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, &This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city.& The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, & Run! Run! The cat is coming!& They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, &I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid.& 【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。” Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,&School-Go slow&. 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着&学校----慢行&. A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. &What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?& &I gave it to a poor old woman,& he answered. &You're a good boy,& said the mother proudly. &Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?& &She is the one who sells the candy.& 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, &What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?& &Well, my son,& his father replied, &look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.& &But, dad,& the boy said, & there's only ONE policeman!& 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” A little bird fly to south for the winter. It was very cold, almost frozen bird. Hence, fly to a large space, after a cow there, in a pile of cow dung upon the bird, frozen bird lying on the dunghill, feel very warm, gradually recovered, it is warm and comfortable lying, and soon began to sing songs, a passing wildcat hear voices, see, follow the voice, wildcats quickly found lying on the dunghill, bird, pull it out.The way of existence: not everyone to lead the dung upon your people are your enemy. Each of you is not from the dunghill lire people are your friends, and, when you lying on the dunghill, had better keep your mouth shut.粪堆里的小鸟一只小鸟飞到南方去过冬。天很冷，小鸟几乎冻僵了。于是，飞到一大块空地上，一头牛经过那儿，拉了一堆牛粪在小鸟的身上，冻僵的小鸟躺在粪堆里，觉得很温暖，渐渐苏醒过来，它温暖而舒服的躺着，不久唱起歌来，一只路过的野猫听到声音，走过去看个究竟，循着声音，野猫很快发现了躺在粪堆里的小鸟，把它拽出来吃掉了。生存之道：不是每个往你身上拉大粪的人都是你的敌人。也不是每个把你从粪堆里拉出来的人都是你的朋友，还有，当你躺在粪堆里时，最好把你的嘴闭上。
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Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. &What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?& &I gave it to a poor old woman,& he answered.&You're a good boy,& said the mother proudly. &Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?&&She is the one who sells the candy.&
A Good Boy 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。”The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: &You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?& &In the rat-trap, sir,& replied theboy.
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
I don‘t know。
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