英文歌曲every fucking night sea what true_百度知道
英文歌曲every fucking night sea what true
歌词大概是every fucking night
sea fucking true，是什么歌
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I've been letting you down down
Girl I know I've been such a fool
Giving into temptation
I should have played it cool
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand
It can happen to anyone of us
Anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break
Cos I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to anyone of us
Say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't escape
My heart will break
Cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake
She was kind of exciting
A little crazy
I should have known
She must have altered my senses
As I offered to walk her home
The situation got out of hand
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“Kings and queens, knights and renegades, liars, lords and honest men...all love gratuitous boobies”~ Series tagline
“So...do I need to sign a contract for season two? Guys? Anyone?”~ Sean Bean, Mark Addy, Harry Lloyd, Jamie Sives...ahh, fuck it, there's too many to name
Game of Thrones: What a Sweet-Ass Chair is a historical docu-drama set primarily in the kingdom of . It charts the rise and fall of numerous factions, chiefly great Houses, as they battle amongst themselves over who can get laid the most. The show is adapted from A Song Of Ice and Fire, an ongoing
series authored by the
and Maltese tourist organisations in conjunction with the
and Irish actors union Equity, chiefly by putting the names of various characters in a hat, then drawing them out in pairs to decide if characters "like" or "hate" each other. This method of writing has been given a pen name, , and the series has been running on
for a fanbase described alternately as "rabid," "mad as a lorry," "capable of serious bodily harm" and "imp fetishists."
The principal plots involve a confrontation between House Stark and House Lannister, over whether the Queen has been
with her br the tale of Jon Snow, who travels north and subse and lastly follows the rise of Daenerys Targaryen, a princess of the deposed former royal family of Westeros, who is sold to a barbarian warlord for her . The show has so far been a success, and HBO have finished a second series based on the sequel: A Clash of Kings: Blood and Titties. Artistic director Sterling Whoopee has stated they are confident the series will continue, and plans to adapt the third and fourth and fifth and unfinished sixth books as well, entitled A Storm of Swords: Everyone Fucking Dies, A Feast for Crows: They Call me Queen Bitch, Dancing with the : Among Other Fetishes and Winter's Coming, Or Something.
The show has largely been faithful to , with only minor changes to the amount of
shown (approximately 78% of screen time is given over to this, compared to 57% worth of description in the books). New scenes have been added, such as the establishing scene for lead character Tyrion Lannister, to show the series' , and a new character has been written in named Ros, a prostitute with a well-developed and rounded . Aside from these , HBO
have so far stuck faithfully to the 20,459 sub-plots which make up the plotline. Critical response to the series thus far has largely been positive. In particular, many critics have praised the performance of
as Tyrion, with Postern Banksy of
writing "if Dinklage doesn't get an , I will find whoever organises that dripping fungus of an awards ceremony and I will tie them down and bleed on them. Seriously. I will fuck their shit right up, you won't believe it. I'll put the bastard's face on the side of a milk carton."
Contents[]
Game of Thrones is set primarily on the continent of Westeros, which is divided into seven kingdoms. As a favour to , areas of the continent are often referred to by compass direction, such as "the North" or "the South," and the series begins with a handy map showing the viewer where each episode will be set. Westeros is a diverse landscape, reflecting many real-world locations such as ,
and . The exception is the storyline of Daenerys Targaryen, which is set on the continent of Essos, where the economy runs largely on eating horses and .
Winterfell: The home of series one protagonist Eddard Stark and his family, Winterfell is a
castle in the North. It tends to vary in size, from a simple courtyard to something approaching , but most witnesses agree that it is definitely a structure of some sort. Notable locations include the Well, the Piss-up Hall and the Tower of Twincest.
King's Landing: The Capital of the Seven Kingdoms, King's Landing is an enormous city built entirely from yellow . It is the seat of the royal family, and the location of the the Super Sweet-Ass Chair from which the series takes its name. A night out in King's Landing has been described as "creamy and gentle. Right up until the fisting." The city tourist board have rejected this statement, however: "We deny any knowledge of unlawful fisting in King's Landing. The reviewer just happened to jump ass-first from a window as King Robert was passing by and stretching his big, fat arms." In response, the king shouted "BOOBIES!" and attempted to drink his squire's liver.
The Eyrie: Hey, you want to hide? I have the perfect place for you. The Eyrie is a tumescent erection sat atop a sheer outcrop of rock, miles from anywhere, a throbbing stone penis impregnable to anyone except the most determined and
of sellswords. The Eyrie is the home of the warden of the , and as such manages to create the perfect storm of being a power thrusting into the realm whilst being completely unassailable. The Eyrie's regent, Lysa Tully, has so far failed to take advantage of this unique position due to a slight case of .
The Wall: Whilst Winterfell is balls-ass freezing, The Wall is a
that takes it one step further by freezing your balls, your ass, your
and your happy trail into one terrible icy lump. The Wall stands at the edge of the Seven Kingdoms, a
that protects the Kingdom from wildlings and other, mysterious threats from the far, frozen north. The
is manned by the Night's Watch, and is the only real line of defence against the threat of the White Walkers, a mysterious enemy long passed into legend. Rumours of budget constraints in showing the dreaded White Walkers were dismissed as "a load of tosh and pebbles. Spare any change?" by HBO producer Zambang De Dineedang.
Beyond The Wall: A common belief in Westeros is that The Wall is the end of the world. This is , as the area beyond The Wall is home to
called wights. We only see the area beyond The Wall briefly, but the ensuing terror is sufficient to leave most viewers crying like a cissy bitch being gangbanged by furiously horny mammoths. Looks a bit like .
Pentos: Pentos is where Daenerys starts her journey. It is a luxurious city of marble and gardens, where women frolic around naked and (it can be assumed) everything smells like .
The Dothraki Sea: The Dothraki, nomadic horselords who ride around giving lessons in
and , have an enormous fear of the sea, which they refer to as the "poison water." Residents of Essos have therefore humourously named the great grassy plains they inhabit the "Dothraki Sea." Because fuck you, Dothraki.
Vaes Dothrak: The Dothraki's only city, it is deceptive in that it looks exactly like . It is forbidden to spill blood in Vaes Dothrak, so disputes are typically settled with
and . The city is the capital of the Dothraki race, and the various khalasars meet here at important times to hold a giant
and horse-heart chewing contest.
The Shadowlands Beyond Asshai: No idea. But Jorah Mormont keeps mentioning them, and when you have his chin everything you say is important, especially in a voice that suggests it has been inhaling campfire smoke for years.
Currently, the only known story with a longer
list than A Song of Ice and Fire is British Telecom's epic The Phone Book. This has created problems for the series, as they were unable to recruit the entire population of any small countries to help out. Early rumours persisted that the show would largely be cast from kidnapped , but screen tests for the part of Ser Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane proved that orange dwarves did not perform well as seven-foot-tall madmen. Of the original Oompa-Loompa cast, only
remains. Some of the principal characters are listed below.
Eddard " Prince? Sounds legit" Stark: The principal protagonist of series one, Eddard ("Ned" to his buddies) is honourable, loyal, strong and so
it's astonishing he lasted beyond the opening credits. He seems to trust everyone, even the blood-soaked man in the clown outfit encountered when visiting Duskendale, and predictably ends up being thrown into a dungeon. To rub salt into the wound, he is captured by a man whose nickname implies that his
is much, much smaller than Ned's.
Catelyn "Lannisters. Lannisters everywhere" Stark: Formerly Catelyn Tully, Eddard's wife and sister to Lysa "-Eye" Tully,
Catelyn is a mild-mannered woman in nearly all things. The only exception is that she will go
when there are dwarves, bastards, or bastard dwarves in the room. On her travels she kidnaps Tyrion Lannister, which causes the Queen, her brother and their father Tywin some small annoyance and starts a war. Nice going.
The Stark Children: Since the unexplained disappearance of baby Rickon, thought stolen by grumkins prior to the series' beginning, there are four legitimate Stark children: Robb, Sansa, Bran and Arya. They are more commonly known by their
Northern, Bitchy, Shit Legs and I Will Fuck You Up if You Annoy Me, respectively.
Hodor: Hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor. Hodor hodor hodor hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor, hodor hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor. Hodor. Yep, that's about it for this character's development so far.
Cersei "One Penis and I'll Rule Them All" Lannister: The
of the Seven Kingdoms, mother of the heir to the Iron Throne, babelicious
royal totty, and cold-hearted super-bitch currently scheming her way into ultimate power. Spoiler: she's fucking her brother.
Jaime "The Fuckest Upest" Lannister: Brother to Cersei, sworn knight of the Kingsguard, slayer of Aerys II, the last Targaryen king, and an amoral mess of charm and violence. Spoiler: he throws a child from a window. And he's fucking his sister.
Tyrion "It's What You do With It" Lannister: A dwarf with more inventive euphemisms for
than there are characters in this story. Though he has but a tiny frame, there exists the essence of several huge men in his loins alone. Probably the sharpest character in the series, his intellect appears to be only enhanced by a steady diet of ,
and sarcastic one-liners.
Robert "MORE TITTIES" Baratheon: King of the Andals and the First Men...Robert is a , okay not in the "technical" sense, who likes nothing better than to stick either his sword or his penis into the warm, wet nether regions of another person. Initially a rather jolly fellow with a love of
and , Robert also proves to be a bit of an arsehole, ordering the death of a pregnant woman and insulting everyone he meets. He also slaps his wife.
Joffrey "Cunt. Seriously. He's Just an Utter, Utter Cunt" Baratheon: Son of Cersei Lannister and , Joffrey is...well, you read his nickname. He gets away with his all-consuming douchebaggery because he's the Prince, and because of his fearsome bodyguard, . Science has proved with bar graphs that no orgasm can possibly be as satisfying as watching Tyrion slap the slimy little bastard in episode two.
Renly "The Straight Man" Baratheon: The King's more
younger brother, Renly is often found being the
against Robert's blusterfucking and Ned's refusal to get his hands dirty. He and his even-more-fabulous lover Loras Tyrell plot to take the throne between blowjobs.
Stannis "Who the Hell is Stannis" Baratheon: The unseen middle brother of the Baratheon family is said to be crazy, crazy, crazy, and crazy. Upon watching season two, the above adjectives proved accurate, though little known but also true is his .
Petyr "I Might Cut You Just Because I Can" Baelish: Known as "Littlefinger," Petyr is an effortlessly charming backstabber with a penchant for
and explaining his evil schemes to whores. This effectively makes him the Westeros version of a , except that he's so damn charming you can't dislike him. Even when he's stabbing kittens in the face.
Varys "The Cockless Wonder": A
and "master of whispers," which is fancy talk for nosey bastard (or Spymaster). Varys spends much of his time floating around like a powdered egg, making everyone's skin crawl, and doing generally shady things in dungeons. Despite his obvious disadvantage he likes nothing better than playing "my cock is bigger than yours" with Littlefinger.
Grand Maester "He's a Big Fat Phoney!" Pycelle: Maester Pycelle is the grandest maester in all the land, and appears to be your average bumbling, run-of-the-mill magical grandpa. That is, until his passionate thirst for children' his massive white beard hides a chin full of conniving and unforgiving brutality. However, though he outranks all the other maesters in the land, he still answers to the even more elder, even more whiter-bearded clan of misters.
Jon "" Snow: Jon Snow is a . At no point is his
referenced, and his
at Winterfell is a complete . By the end of the second episode many viewers wrote letters to HBO begging them to include at least one reference to his
in the script. All we currently know is that he has lovely, lovely ...
Samwell " Tarly: Sam Tarly is the oversized baby whose father threatened to
him if he didn't join the Night's Watch. Unfortunately for Sam, he wasn't familiar with Westeros' laws against , and joined the Night's Watch anyway. When he isn't complaining about the weather, he is usually found sniffing around in Jon Snow's underpants drawer. The concept of an overweight, bumbling comic relief sidekick called Sam has been praised as a .
Daenerys "Fuck You, I'm the Khaleeshi" Targaryen: 13-year old Daenerys is an
and, along with her brother, the last surviving member of the Taragaryen royal family, who were the kings in Westeros before Robert came and fucked them up 'n shiz. She goes from a scared little girl to an ass-kicking Khaleeshi in an impressive four episodes.
Viserys "I'm the Dragon, beeeeeetch" Targaryen: Physically older than his sister Daenerys, though not mentally, Viserys combines the platinum hair of an aging
with the obnoxious attitude of a 12-year old playing
online with one hand whilst surfing 4Chan with the other. He finds out the
way that it's generally a bad idea to threaten the unborn child of a warrior king in front of him. This information has now been added to , to prevent others from making the same mistake.
Khal "KHAL DROGO!!!" Drogo: Warlord of the Dothraki, or at least as many of them as are willing to be led, Khal Drogo is six-plus foot of . When not striding around like a barbarian god come to kick everyone's ass, Khal Drogo spends his time chewing barbed wire, waving his massive wang around and fighting off
that have been armed with other bears. Spending more than two minutes in his presence will result in him having sex with you whether you like it or not.
There is a lot of plot in Game of Thrones. Normal television usually has some plot, and good television often has a fairly weighty volume of plot to carry it along, but Game of Thrones is the first known television series with enough plot to have its own . Between the ten thousand characters, the multiple locations across two continents, the 7,000 years of backstory...it gets a little scratchy-heady at times. In the grand spirit of Uncyclopedia, we will now attempt to
sum up the ten thousand separate plotlines that make up the series.
Eddard "Ned" Stark is chilling in the North, executing deserters, giving meaningful speeches, boning his wife Catelyn and generally being awesome as only Sean Bean can be. In the middle of his awesomeness he finds out that his old friend-cum-father figure Jon Arryn has died. He reacts as any sane person would, by hiding underneath a huge , and waits for his old friend King Robert to be rolled up the Kingsroad for a visit. Robert eventually arrives with his retinue of knights, toadies and chefs, where he names Ned his Hand (sort of a chief advisor whose advice seems to exist solely to be ignored). Ned is reluctant to take on the role. Possibly he had some more deserters to execute, it's not made clear, but then...a Plot Twist happens, when Catelyn gets a letter from her sister claiming that Jon Arryn was murdered by the blonde evil bastards, the Lannisters. Eventually he accepts and sets off for King's Landing wi bubble-headed Sansa and
king Arya. Bran stays behind, after getting his legs broken for watching Queen Cersei and her brother Jaime in an incest-themed Plot Twist.
Jon Snow is moody and does nothing. Stares a lot at nothing in particular.
On the way back to King's Landing we find out a bit about House Lannister, the family of the Queen. Mostly that they're all complete fuckheads (except ). The Queen gets Sansa's pet
killed, the Prince's bodyguard slaughters Arya's friend, and Jaime Lannister probably uses up all the toilet paper without replacing it, the insufferably smug prick. When they reach King's Landing the atmosphere has grown somewhat chilly. Once there, Ned begins to investigate Jon Arryn's death, hampered somewhat by Cersei, Varys and Littlefinger obsessively stalking him. In between fending off their advances and throwing away hand-drawn pictures of him and Petyr Baelish in their wedding finery, he discovers in a Plot Twist that Robert fathered a . His efforts are interrupted when Jaime Lannister has him surrounded, kills his men, kills the man who stabbed Ned's leg and made things "too easy", and publishes a satirical article about him
(just because). All because Catelyn sort-of took his brother hostage in a Plot Twist. War is starting to brew.
In a Plot Twist Sansa, who by this point is engaged to the twattish manchild , accidentally makes Ned realise that the King's children are in fact..., and the Queen has been banging her brother Jaime, who got her
three separate times. Ned confronts the Queen, speaks with the King's brother Renly, and bribes Littlefinger to make sure the city watch will aid him when shit gets thrown to the ground.
Jon Snow is moody, becomes a maid, and fights a zombie in a Plot Twist.
Shit, predictably, gets thrown to the ground and Littlefinger, even more predictably, betrays Ned in a Plot Twist after slapping him repeatedly and laughing in his face. Sansa is captured, Arya escapes, and up in Winterfell Robb (remember him?) decides to stop being
and get some revenge. After donning his best war-starting cloak, he musters Ned's BFFs to engage in some imminent violence. Surprisingly for a young boy fresh from his old man's court, Robb actually kicks a surprising amount of ass and manages to get his broody hands on the Kingslayer himself. Unfortunately, things aren't looking so good for Ned back in the capital. Varys has persuaded him to confess his "crimes" in public, deny he thinks that Queen Cersei is a brotherfucking , and take a hike up to the
mentioned earlier.
Varys, however, has forgotten that they're dealing with that utter, utter little cunt Joffrey. Rather than letting him go, the royal dickhead engages in a Plot Twist and
in view of the entire city. This does not, as you might have guessed, lead to a peaceful resolution to the upcoming war. In response a crowd of furious northmen decide to make the teenage Robb their king, and Tyrion is sent to King's Landing to become The Hand and slap some sense into Joffrey.
Jon Snow is moody, runs away and immediately comes back.
Daenerys Taragaryen and her brother, Viserys, have been on the run ever since Jaime Lannister killed their father (the previous King) and Robert broke the Iron Throne by sitting on it. We join them in Pentos, where Magister Illyrio's beard is preparing to sell Daenerys to Khal Drogo, a warlord so manly he shits wolves. At this stage she is still more frightened by her
brother than anything else, so she goes along with it, knowing that she can then persuade him to use his fucking enormous army to reclaim the Seven Kingdoms. As a wedding gift, Magister Illyrio gives her some stone dragon eggs. She adapts surprisingly quickly to the Dothraki customs of chowing down on raw
and playing Stick the Hole in the Person with anyone they encounter. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs. Her brother, however, is having a difficult time with the mandatory horse-riding due to his mandatory dickheadishness. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs.
Over time, Daenerys grows into her status as a queen and stands up to her brother. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs. He responds by getting
and, in a move later described as "frog stupid" and "fucktarded," threatens to kill his sister and her unborn child while Khal Drogo is watching. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs. This doesn't go down all that well with, well, anyone. Khal Drogo, in an act of terrifying brutality and manliness, burns Viserys to death with the flimsiest, fastest-melting
champion's belt ever seen. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs again.
This seems to put a stop to the danger of Khal Drogo leading his screaming hordes across the Narrow Sea into Westeros. Whilst Viserys had been constantly harping on about reclaiming the Iron Throne from Robert's cold, dead sausage-fingers, Daenerys is now reasonably content as she has managed to become a Queen purely by using her . It seems, for a short while, that the lords of the Seven Kingdoms can stop worrying about invading horselords and get back to their preferred hobbies of , rape and waiting for winter to bloody well come. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs.
Unfortunately, it seemed nobody learned any lessons from Viserys' deep-fried corpse. Acting on Robert's instructions, a wine-seller attempts to poison Daenerys, but is stopped by her
Jorah Mormont. The camera cuts to the dragon eggs. Khal Drogo returns in a manly way, and is understandably
that someone has tried to kill his Khaleeshi sweety. The normally taciturn Drogo then decides to invade the Seven Kingdoms in a speech that will doubtless go down as the most manly and hardcore words ever uttered by man. Storming around like a
of vengeance, his muscles rippling, sheened with sweat, he
As part of Operation: Fuck up the Seven Kingdoms, Khal Drogo gets wounded whilst doing some manly act or another. Daenerys asks a local
to help him, but the wound festers, and he falls from his horse. Since the Dothraki are all about the horses, and respect only proper , a leader who falls from his horse is treated in roughly the same way as he would be if he had whipped out the tiniest penis known to man and attempted to insert it into the nearest
whilst admitting he liked . Daenerys, apparently not having learned her lesson, asks the same witch to help heal him. The camera cuts to those bloody dragon eggs again.
Whether the witch is deaf, stupid or malicious isn't immediately revealed, but for whatever reason she mistakes "heal my husband" for "turn him into a
and kill my unborn son." Possibly it's a language barrier problem, but we quickly learn that the witch was just fucking with Daenerys because she can. Distraught, the Targaryen girl smothers her comatose husband with a pillow and orders her khalashar to build a funeral pyre
that "will make
bleed with envy." The camera cuts to the dragon eggs, this time as they're being placed onto the pyre. Daenerys lights the fire, burning the witch-woman alive, then steps right up to join her husband in the flames.
Morning comes and the camera cuts to an ash-grey nude Daenerys surrounded by three living, breathing actual fucking baby dragons. Someone call the stable-boy, because that shit just got real.
Since airing, Game of Thrones has averaged twelfty million viewers per episode. Early indicators show that the viewers have been 100% male, 100% aged 13-19 and largely sourced from the "plays ," "likes history" and "would, like, totally do Roxanne McKee" demographics. At the time of the series' beginning, the viewership was estimated at 90% , but this figure fell to the low 20's after witnessing Khal Drogo's speech at the climax of episode seven. Based on the current viewing figures, HBO have agreed to produce each and every one of the books into a series, but noted that Sansa's actress Sophie Turner will likely be 34 when the final book is published.
Game of Thrones has received a large amount of critical attention, with upwards of 54 new online
being made each day with the subject "Game of Thrones, new TV show full of boobs!" Fan response from these discussions has been positive regarding the number of boobs, the quality of the boobs on display, the variation in boob types and the corresponding quality of the
to which the boobs are connected. However, a small but disturbing sub-section of the fanbase have complained at the lack of boobage from , who plays Sansa. The question of who possesses the superior set of boobs has seen a large amount of academic scrutiny, and is the subject of Gus Face's thesis A Cleavage in Twain: Round Royal Boobies and the Division of a Fanbase.
The average review scores for Game of Thrones stand at 83% "-filled" against 17% "needs corrective surgery." Roger Bieber has described the series as "a buffet of flesh and accents, it gave me the most magnificent of . Wait, which series was this again?" whilst Heebee Internet wrote "I have never seen anything so...so, truly...so wanton, so clearly a product of a deranged imagination. It was disgusting, violent, perverted...I was thrilled."
Some criticisms have been levelled at the show. Dr. Pransa Abu-Hamza, among others, wrote a scathing review of the
scene in episode seven. "The orgasms were clearly faked," he wrote, "and there was an annoying short man talking over it all. The camera angles were all wrong, with barely any
on display, and I failed to understand the subtext. I will not be renting this porno again, and I do not advise others to watch it for any amount of money or ." Other criticisms have been levelled at the amount of
actors in the show. Hank Hanker, writing for NRA Monthly, described the show as "confusing as heck! They got all these Brits in there and not one of them's drinking tea! And they aren't all the bad guys, either, this is all totally wrong." The producers responded by pointing out that one actor, , is .
M.A.R.T.I.N standing for Many Absolutely Ridiculous Twists In Narrative.
We don't need no education.
Seriously. Seven hundred foot wall of ice.
Dothraki for "massive train of murderous bastards on horses. With whips."
Ho deserved it.
Either a penis size joke or this character is adept as a
stimulator.
Daenerys's age was upgraded by HBO to legally squeeze in more nudity and avoid
slash fiction. This has so far failed.
Like a queen, but with horses and far more nudity. Basically Catherine the Great.
See previous note as regards Daenerys.
Don't worry. He's so manly you'll end up enjoying it.
Though it may be King Robert causing that effect.
He escapes by talking about masturbation. HBO know their audience.
A development, which to the boundless glee of 100% of the audience, involved real imp-slaps.
Presumably doing something manly like carving up a roast pig with his sword.
Oh, wait, Arya already killed him.
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